The Parse

Parsing the stupidity

Obama’s perky actions

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Something’s in the water over at USA Today’s offices.  The paper announced today that “President-elect Obama’s actions perk up stock market“.

The ridiculousness continues throughout the article.  Some choice laughers:

“A market that two weeks ago was desperate for political leadership and a clear strategy to repair the economy appears to have found it in Obama, who is fast emerging as a decisive economic commander in chief.”

Huh?  What exactly has been “found”?  Today I found a nearly 700 point drop in the markets.  And what is the crap about him “fast emerging as a decisive economic commander in chief”?  The last I checked, he isn’t commander of anything yet.

The story ends by listing moves The One has made that allegedly give “hope” to investors.  The first:

“He’s made the economy priority No. 1. Obama has said, “Help is on the way.””  Yes, by simply uttering those five words, the economy is priority No. 1 and all of our problems have evaporated in the light of his glorious splendor.

Second:

“He’s chosen a first-rate economic team.”  Yep, all those folks who, even according to the left, have helped ruin the economy and engineered massive bailouts.

And finally:

“He’s moved quickly to fix things.” What?  Aside from appointing the aforementioned team, he has done nothing other than hold press conferences where he says nothing.  Besides, since Obama isn’t president yet, he can’t actually do anything to “fix things.”  Well, except for maybe promising not to raise taxes and cutting capital gains taxes.  But hey, I said this was a list of laughers.

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Written by The Parse

December 1, 2008 at 8:18 pm

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